In a way, I haven't planned nearly as much as I usually would have by now. And yet, I also feel more prepared than I've ever been. I've no clue why such is the case, but you'll hear no complaints pass between my lips. Really, I'm just for psyched the creative sort of catharsis I hope to achieve. Really, I'd like to stop feeling paranoid and pathetic before NaNoWriMo starts, but that's not going to happen. Trust me.
I'm a head case, I know. I have issues letting go of the past, and assume people are doomed to do the same things over and over again, I get that. But once, I'd like for a way to be able to tell if "history shall repeat itself." Anyway, back to the planning...
It shall begin with the news, some sort of paper or a TV program. The background information helps lead to Bryony. She's going to say something to the people she meets, they're going to go somewhere and talk. Her talking shall help transition into the first chapter, and out of the prologue. I've an idea where to go from there as well, but not a single other definite character name. I'm to wishy washy. I shall be off.
Write Long & Edit,
Sarah
10/30/10
10/29/10
October 29th, 2010
Bryony Elizabeth George. I think she's to be my new main character. I know how she thinks, for she thinks the way I choose. Creative control is flooding back to me, with the power to wield the mighty words, in any way, that astound me. And yet, I wonder why, this only happens during November?
Write long and Edit,
Sarah
Write long and Edit,
Sarah
10/27/10
October 27th, 2010
Naming may possibly be going well. My "protagonist" is most likely going to be named Georgie or Bryony, which is a good start, I guess. I've still the other main female character, and a slew of others without names, but hopefully they'll just come to me. I'm thinking about Kristina a bit, though I doubt it will be worked into the story in any substantial way.
Oh, and the paragraph mentioned a while ago, it's morphing into something else. Same concept, different approach. I dunno, Sophia's the name chosen for the MC.
I'm quite bland and blah at the moment.
I fear I'm coming off of my "happiness-high."
Sarah
Oh, and the paragraph mentioned a while ago, it's morphing into something else. Same concept, different approach. I dunno, Sophia's the name chosen for the MC.
I'm quite bland and blah at the moment.
I fear I'm coming off of my "happiness-high."
Sarah
10/26/10
October 26th, 2010
All roads lead to Rome,
Past paths covered in lies,
and littered with the corpses,
of your fallen Alibis.
Even if you reach the goal,
the fair city far ahead,
hearts still beat in the fleet of the scorned,
wishing to see you lie dead.
Vengeance burns deep down below,
your enemies having just the stomach,
until the truth's revealed to all,
their determination cannot be unstuck.
Prove yourself changed or come not near,
for your ill words I refuse to hear.
I've been working on naming Characters for NaNoWriMo, but it's quite odd. I've this love of older names, and at the same time cannot choose a single one. The poem above came from sitting, waiting for the cookies to bake in the oven, right after the internet sent me yet another sign that I should trust someone I'd like to trust again. Again, my head is reeling, so I shall finish cleaning up the kitchen, and go draw. That should help clear my mind, for some good plotting.
Write Long & Edit,
Sarah
10/24/10
October 24th, 2010
'Tis but the final countdown. Roughly a seven-night 'till the frivolity shall commence. Yet, nature never framed a woman's heart so dry, old and brittle. 'Tis no hope for I devise honest slanders toward myself. Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps, and I doubt such shall hang upon me, ere I die. Just speak of me as Lady Disdain, for I may say I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me, but such is a complete Lie. Yea, as sure as I have a thought or a soul,I admit to being lonely.
And yet, I am there for all others, to aid in their joys.
[How can I focus on NaNoWriMo?]
Sarah
And yet, I am there for all others, to aid in their joys.
[How can I focus on NaNoWriMo?]
Sarah
10/23/10
October 23rd, 2010
How can I write with my mind so jumbled?
The words cannot flow when you feel so alone.
People don't do what they should,
but you have to keep going.
Leave the cankers clinging to the hedge,
leave the fear of incorrectness,
And just run.
For soon you will write,
feeling loved and content.
Soon you will have,
what you've been searching for....
or at least a story to tell.
10/22/10
October 22nd, 2010
I'm much to impatient. There are still 9 days before NaNoWriMo begins, tis much to long. I find focus difficult, for I would rather be plotting than sitting in Economics or trying to graph parabolas. I've been in such a good mood, but my thoughts all seem negative, spewing out when I've a utensil in my hand. I don't feel like myself.
Write Long & Edit,
Sarah
The feelings counteract the actions
what sort of misnomer must I fight?
Jumping like a fool yet weeping inside,
and for what?
Many are as I, feeling lesser than their peers,
ugly and blemished,
grotesque and repulsive.
Many lack any sort of belonging feeling,
a sort of niche they've carved out for them self.
They don't complain.
I shall not either.
Write Long & Edit,
Sarah
10/19/10
October 19, 2010
I had an 'epiffany' about my NaNoWriMo novel this year. It's about the Blair to My Serena (yes, I made a gossip girl reference.) but much more exaggerated and, well, negative. Though the whole thing is already exaggerated in my incredibly paranoid mind, so I'm not sure how I can make it worse. I mean, even now, after we supposedly have come to a point where we understand each other, I'm still. I do this thing, where I assume the worst. She brings it out in me. Even thinking about it jumbled up my head.
I'm thinking about titling it "Snake on the Tracks," which will make sense once it's read. And I just decided I'm going to focus on the disappointment that I'm feeling now, while writing. Let's just say, if you're a true best friend, you're going to see it need space, but you're supposed to try and gain my trust back. Or at least, that's what would happen in a perfect world.
This, this right here, is why I burn bridges so much. Sure, it's lonely, but you don't feel disappointed that they don't fight to be your friend like you want them too. And you don't constantly fear lying, or her liking and 'getting' a guy you like(d) and told her such. [But then again such leads to your realization that the boys in your own grade don't all suck as much as you thought. Sure, you've no hope, they could do better, but still.]
God, boys are stupid. Girls are stupid. I am a headcase with a headache. Goodnight.
Sarah
I'm thinking about titling it "Snake on the Tracks," which will make sense once it's read. And I just decided I'm going to focus on the disappointment that I'm feeling now, while writing. Let's just say, if you're a true best friend, you're going to see it need space, but you're supposed to try and gain my trust back. Or at least, that's what would happen in a perfect world.
This, this right here, is why I burn bridges so much. Sure, it's lonely, but you don't feel disappointed that they don't fight to be your friend like you want them too. And you don't constantly fear lying, or her liking and 'getting' a guy you like(d) and told her such. [But then again such leads to your realization that the boys in your own grade don't all suck as much as you thought. Sure, you've no hope, they could do better, but still.]
God, boys are stupid. Girls are stupid. I am a headcase with a headache. Goodnight.
Sarah
10/18/10
October 18th, 2010
What have we learned? I'm not good at thinking people can change. Romans ripped off most of their stuff from other cultures. I am quite transparent.
Anyway, I've jotted down a few lines of "poetry," if you can even call them that. And the random paragraph mentioned a while ago is now 450 words. If I can break 500 in the next 5-10 minutes, it may mean I've an idea worth working on. Or, at least, one that I can go with for a while. I'd really like to get some writing out of my system, and some of my more obscure ideas down, before NaNoWriMo, and I get to focus on one plot line at a time.
So, before I go, I'll let you read some random lines that I wrote down today. I think I intended it to be a bit of cathartic poetry, getting some things out. But, I also think I was writing down lines to go with other lines at a later date. So, they don't go together. I don't know. It at least shows how jumbled my head is right now.
Sarah
Anyway, I've jotted down a few lines of "poetry," if you can even call them that. And the random paragraph mentioned a while ago is now 450 words. If I can break 500 in the next 5-10 minutes, it may mean I've an idea worth working on. Or, at least, one that I can go with for a while. I'd really like to get some writing out of my system, and some of my more obscure ideas down, before NaNoWriMo, and I get to focus on one plot line at a time.
So, before I go, I'll let you read some random lines that I wrote down today. I think I intended it to be a bit of cathartic poetry, getting some things out. But, I also think I was writing down lines to go with other lines at a later date. So, they don't go together. I don't know. It at least shows how jumbled my head is right now.
I'm not bitter, I'm a realist.
I don't expect change, because I know it won't happen.
You are the car crash that I witnessed; that crash is why I won't drive.
There is no reason for such hostility.
Pettiness gets old rather quickly.
Paranoia doesn't go away, especially when there is no trust.
Your empty words are quite stale.
Sarah
10/17/10
October 17th, 2010
"What is the purpose of the Oxford Comma? What is the purpose of layering clothing instead of wearing a heavy jacket? What is the purpose of life?"Quoted from my notebook. I think I'm losing it.
Sarah
10/15/10
October 15th, 2010
I've written a few lines here and there. I've read more in the last week then I did last month, but all my inspiration seems to be drawing & painting related. A couple days ago, I sat down and started writing, titling the little spurt of words "running." I may turn it into something. I've no clue.
My head is in a bit of a fog, from sleeping off a migraine today, no doubt, which is probably good. I've to get everything for my Halloween blog post at my art blog, here, that needs to be up tomorrow finished so it can be posted on time. I don't know. I've been getting my "priorities in check" today. I'm signed up for an SAT, I've emailed the school of my dreams. It all feels quite odd, like I'm stuck in the Forrest between here and Narnia, with nothing rushing me to do anything. Tis almost like nothing really matters. I don't know.
Sarah
My head is in a bit of a fog, from sleeping off a migraine today, no doubt, which is probably good. I've to get everything for my Halloween blog post at my art blog, here, that needs to be up tomorrow finished so it can be posted on time. I don't know. I've been getting my "priorities in check" today. I'm signed up for an SAT, I've emailed the school of my dreams. It all feels quite odd, like I'm stuck in the Forrest between here and Narnia, with nothing rushing me to do anything. Tis almost like nothing really matters. I don't know.
Sarah
10/11/10
October 11th, 2010
Fun fact? The idea for the story that I had, the 'brilliant' one that I was going to run with, fails. It's like over the night I've lost any sort of ideas that I had. Forgetting to write something down is the biggest problem I have, and has been for quite a while. I've more ideas, but no real motivation to continue. Mayhaps something will strike me. Whence, I know not.
Oh, you may not know this, but I dabble in song writing as well. Part of me thinks I should get some songs out, if anything it would help me be less angry &/or bitter. I just seem to think of Catchy (in my opinion) lines, and write them down in my phone and forget them. Those, paired with my cheesy metaphors could create some, at least, entertaining stuff.
Write Long and Edit,
Sarah
Oh, you may not know this, but I dabble in song writing as well. Part of me thinks I should get some songs out, if anything it would help me be less angry &/or bitter. I just seem to think of Catchy (in my opinion) lines, and write them down in my phone and forget them. Those, paired with my cheesy metaphors could create some, at least, entertaining stuff.
Write Long and Edit,
Sarah
10/8/10
October 8th, 2010
I'm not quite sure, but I decided to open up blogger and just write for a bit. What it is, I'm not sure. Thoughts? (fix my grammar, please and thank you.)
Write long and edit,
Sarah
The sky was bright, full of clouds; falling slowly, softly, from the sky seemed to be tiny drops of rain. A hint of wet-scented air drifted to her nose in the breeze, as she sat there, feeling the sun and water on her face. The light green tank top began to stick to her skin, damp and clingy, as did the shorts she wore. By the time she got up, her crossed legs would have little red indents, bumps on her skin from the sidewalk below them. Eyes closed, arms lifted outward and palms toward the sky,the percipitation was giving her the sensation of little pokes from the beads of water, before rolling off of her skin, falling to the ground. Rolling tires splashed though shallow puddles, trees gently shook their leaves in the wind, all the neighborhood sounds bouncing around her, open to and aware of it all.
Yeah, I dunno...
Write long and edit,
Sarah
The sky was bright, full of clouds; falling slowly, softly, from the sky seemed to be tiny drops of rain. A hint of wet-scented air drifted to her nose in the breeze, as she sat there, feeling the sun and water on her face. The light green tank top began to stick to her skin, damp and clingy, as did the shorts she wore. By the time she got up, her crossed legs would have little red indents, bumps on her skin from the sidewalk below them. Eyes closed, arms lifted outward and palms toward the sky,the percipitation was giving her the sensation of little pokes from the beads of water, before rolling off of her skin, falling to the ground. Rolling tires splashed though shallow puddles, trees gently shook their leaves in the wind, all the neighborhood sounds bouncing around her, open to and aware of it all.
Yeah, I dunno...
10/7/10
October 7th, 2010
It's all been a spurt of words here, a splat of inspiration there. It's alright, I at least got a bit of poetry out, which is helping me get over some drama. When honesty goes out the window, I fear loyalty does as well, so it is questioned. When I get no answer, I take that as the answer. Oh Well.
Foil
You foiled my trust in you,
So I'll foil your plan,
I will not crack this time,
screw being the bigger person.
I can ignore how impaitent I am,
I can make myself busy,
I can avoid going back,
talking, yelling or screaming at you.
I'm not angry.
At this point, I don't know what I feel.
All I know is, you chose not to choose.
I chose not to fight any more.
If you won't, why should I?
Write Long and Edit,
Sarah
10/6/10
October 6th, 2010
Writing at this moment in time is a bit dismal. Really, I'm just waiting to be told by two people that I'm a wretched little person, who deserves no friends because of how big a jerk I am. Really, I'm not. I don't ever tell person to choose one friend over another, I've just sort of, lost trust, faith, and confidence. Such things I'm ready to hear, no matter how incorrect they shall be, have left my newly wielded pen to spew nothing but depressing or betrayed poetry.
Sarah
I Don't Deserve
I know what I said and to whom in which I did,
I know the selflessness you're going to tell me of-
she doesn't deserve this drama, this emotional roller coaster.
Not even she-who-is-seemingly-emotionless would say what I said.
It is cruel to make one choose between friends,
no matter how much you've been shaken.
So what if you're now questioning the loyalties of many?
What of it, paranoia of it happening again?
What of it, paranoia of it happening again?
It doesn't matter how terrible they made you feel,
how much you may have cried, yelled and hurt.
She doesn't deserve you to do that to her,
no matter how much emotional pain she caused you.
But, I don't deserve the mental mess she caused either.
Sarah
10/5/10
October 5th, 2010
I have no issues with people looking at my drawings. But, when someone gets to a page with words written on it, I spazz. Said spazzing happened twice today. I do wonder what I'm so afraid of, my feelings won't make them say anything. They probably don't care, they just are curious about what comes from my pen. But still, I don't like it.
The conversation that sparked the current written project, it continued in my Lit class today, which was good. When I begin typing, I'll be able to expand a bit in the beginning, which is always good. I've some Angsty things to go write, to get the conflict out of my system, so I can be productive.
Write long & Edit,
Sarah
The conversation that sparked the current written project, it continued in my Lit class today, which was good. When I begin typing, I'll be able to expand a bit in the beginning, which is always good. I've some Angsty things to go write, to get the conflict out of my system, so I can be productive.
Write long & Edit,
Sarah
10/4/10
October 4th, 2010
I've written a bit of poetry, while waiting to hear of someone I feel for, and then after finding another had feelings for me. I quite hate feelings right now. They ruin a lot.
I wrote a few lines in the 'story' as well. Does it look hopeful? I've no clue.
I wrote a few lines in the 'story' as well. Does it look hopeful? I've no clue.
Sorry
It's the only word I can make out,
the swirling letters clouding my mind.
Never did I want to have to say this,
I've thought of this conversation before.
Never did it end well,
I'm sorry.
10/2/10
October 2nd, Part Deux
The idea I think I mentioned, from the post I posted earlier today, I've begun it.
I always write more with pen and paper, so I grabbed a notebook and took a conversation from my English class, and turned it into the first 2-3 hundred words. Where will it go? I know not. But hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Sarah
I always write more with pen and paper, so I grabbed a notebook and took a conversation from my English class, and turned it into the first 2-3 hundred words. Where will it go? I know not. But hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Sarah
October 2nd, 2010
In the past 2-ish weeks, d'you know what I've written?
Nothing.
Well, not nothing. I've had papers for school, and homework to do, but really, I've written nothing, and I feel quite terrible for that. The only thing I've done in the way of writing, was come up with an idea in the middle of my English class, a Philosophical one, for a story.
Maybe it's a lack of inspiration?
Sarah
Nothing.
Well, not nothing. I've had papers for school, and homework to do, but really, I've written nothing, and I feel quite terrible for that. The only thing I've done in the way of writing, was come up with an idea in the middle of my English class, a Philosophical one, for a story.
Maybe it's a lack of inspiration?
Sarah
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