December 31st, 2010

This is more than just a rambling post about my resolutions. I already posted one of those. You can read it if you like, but the only thing pertaining to writing is that I'm going to do more of it. I will learn grammar and to spell better. I will finish things and try to publish things. Even if it's a self-published book of short stories or poetry... Here's hoping I don't have to use such as a last resort.
Anyway, back to the point of this handful of words. I feel as though my words are inadequate. When another person goes to read them, I find myself feeling nervous, nauseous and as though I will faint. Does anyone have a cure for said feelings, or am I doomed forever, to fear criticism of my art? I cannot help it. My Art is all I have.

Sarah

December 30th, 2010

What gets written in my world? Numbers, ideas and schedules. Plans, locations and other miserable things. I've very little time to write, and being sore makes me want to do so even less. I've been spending my time watching over an ill family member in the hospital, but I did get a chance to scribble some words down.

Tap. Tap. Tap.  

The sound was of a hand, aiming to smack at the light switch, missing by inches each time. Every time she opened her eyes, the fake rays of light caused them to feel as though they were on fire. Each time she moved, her knees came in tighter to her chest. It was as though there was a massive growth inside of her, beating on her insides, stabbing them repeatedly. 

Tears seemed to have finally run out, leaving her face slightly moist, as she repeatedly cursed herself for doing it again. She could have stopped it, prevented feeling like this again, and yet here she was. Nausea plagued her, her head pounded, and the guilt she felt was starting to consume her.

 Don't ask.
Sarah

December 27th, 2010

I'm cold from sitting in front of the computer, my head hurts and my neck hurts. I was role playing, pretending I was someone else, and realized I've yet to post anything I've written in a while.
A short paragraph found it's way through my pen and into my notebook. I shall share it with you.

He twitched, dropping things and flipping his wrist. A klenex box fell on his head, after it hit the back of the couch a few too many times. Drool ran down his face as tears when down hers. If it weren't for the soft little whimpers she gave off no one would have noticed her, sitting in the corner. With her knees pulled up to her chest, she watched him, trying to keep quiet and calm, but failing miserably. It was almost always like this now; nothing seemed to change it, no matter how hard she tried.

Much love, Sarah

December 18th, 2010

I haven't been writing, the apathy, drama, and stress have paired with a perpetual head ache. But, that's sort of in my favor. Sure, I feel terrible most of the time, but current happenings have given me more to think about, more material to write about. Plus, I've been putting pieces of story together, that I never would have without this period of feeling like crap. So, I'll take it.

Write Long & Edit,
Sarah

December 11th, 2010

It's quite irritating when I've an idea one moment, and then detest it the next. It seems marvellous, but develops into a heap of un-usable rubbish. A name sparks a flame of an idea, but it's out before a little kid can blow out his birthday cake. Holiday and family stress isn't helping either. The stress is more bombastic than meaningful, or I'd probably write about it.
Oh well.

Sarah

December 8th, 2010

I think I've a new idea? I'm not quite sure, for all I seem to do is sleep and read. Oops.

Sarah

December 5th, 2010

The SAT is over, and once I finish re-writing my government notes, I shall be able to really get writing. I love the prologue that I wrote this November, but I found the six and a half chapters I wrote to be dull and uninspired. First person isn't my forte, but I lose interest in third. I sincerely doubt it will follow any real events near as close as I had planned. Plus, I'm pretty much animosity free now (in fact, twice now I've picked up my phone & contemplated texting or calling), so I'm not that much into it in the first place. But hey, I'll be filled with the winter blues in no time, so I'll come up with something. Really, I'm just hoping my tendency to lean in a melancholy sort of direction will assist me, but not aid the procrastination in slowing me down.
In other news, my dreams like to taunt me, I read much too slowly for my own liking, and I am absolutely, irrevocably in love... with Pears. They are quite delicious. Especially when they are still pretty firm.

Sarah

December 3rd, 2010

Happy December, everyone. I've taken a bit of a break from writing, as you can see by my failed attempt at NaNoWriMo this year, but I'm aright. No worries, really. If anything, it's given me a chance to try and chill, and focus on other things going on in my life. But, after I take my SAT tomorrow, I can get back into really writing.

I write in notebooks first, preferably college rule, but I think all those that I have are wide ruled. I use pencil and cursive, since it's harder to decipher. I'm hoping to write at least 5 pages (front and back, so really 10) a day, after tomorrow. Counting would be tedious, so once I start typing, you'll get a work count. I do so much better, writing by hand.

Also, I've been neglecting my poetry lately. I think I'll be doing a bit more of that as well. It's freeing, a good outlet for random thoughts and emotions.

Loves,
Sarah