January 31st, 2011

The month is come to a close, as has the thought of me pursuing my goal since primary school. I feel as though my life is a mess, and for some reason just have one question: if I were to write of angsty teens, would anyone want to read it? ....Well, I've thought a lot about art projects too. Yay, coping mechanisms.
Oh, next month is FAWM. February Album Writing Month. 15 songs in a month, and I'm participating. You may get to see some lyrics if I get time and focus to post them.
Oh, another random thought, if I'm posting less than usual in the next few weeks, my parents have locked me up for being a rubbish student.
I'll stop rambling on, since I've no clue what I'm really saying.
FML,

Sarah

January 28th, 2011

Focus has never been my strong suit. Now, I have a book to read for lit, and many new comic books to dive into. I only got about 300 words down today. I can't help it. It's hard to focus when you wear retainers for the first time in months. It makes your teeth hurt.

Sarah

January 25th, 2011

It's been a while since writing has caused me to feel this, elated. I've been sitting here for only half an hour, my legs crossed in my chair and ears pounding with upbeat music via headphones. Due to the music, I keep stopping and switching song, but I feel oddly productive. 400 words in 30 minutes isn't the greatest, but I actually like what I have so far. A moment ago, I stopped to dance the Secretariat Dance (like Craig Ferguson when the horse, Secretariat, shows up on the Late Late Show) for a minute and a half. My parents are both asleep, so I've no problem looking like a fool. Maybe that's it, I need to be alone to really "Work it... and the noggin."
So, I'm gonna dance to Daft Punk, and write some more.

Sarah

January 24th, 2011

I used to hate starting over. I would feel like I'm giving up, and dread not finishing yet another drawing, project or story line.
NOW, I just insert a page break and keep the 1.5K words I've pounded out, and re-start. I'll borrow from the first words, stealing lines or phrases. Hell, I may even steal large chunks of paragraphs. All I know is, I now have 20 words, and 1500 chunks from the first attempt at a beginning. And I'm alright with that.
I lost my voice, so I hope you could understand this post. I sound like a squeaky sea lion.

Sarah

January 21st, 2011

Do you know that feeling, when your throat feels like it's swelling up and you can't say a word? You're so embarrassed that your body is trying to tell you to shut the hell up.
Or, if you're me, you've some shite cold/flu/bug-thing and shouldn't be in school.
So, writing looks grim, as does doing anything else. Unless you can get me what he's having, cause I cba to even try and find something else to make me feel better.
Really, I need to find the US Skins to see how much it pales in comparison to the UK version and go to bed.

Night,
Sarah

January 19th, 2011

Woo, writing everyday, for three days in a row. I'm going to ride this as long as I can, for I've no clue how long my motivation will last.
First, I wrote100 words about a random dog and her litter of puppies, in Kentucky. It's supposed to end up being a sort story sort of thing. I mean, it began for a reason, but I'm terrible at getting what I think out, without a deadline or pressure. Oops. Now I'm about 300 more words into the main project I'm working on. It's dull, terribly terribly dull. Shoot me.

Sarah

January 18th, 2011

Today I planned, plotting ideas and writing them down in my little paper companion.
I'm much less angry, though not really. I've just done a hell of a job repressing it. It will bite me in the arse later.
I wrote today as well, around 400-500 words. I want to write every day, so I'll take it.
Now, I'm going to have a secret love affair with a rainbow coloured lollypop larger than my face, and go to bed.
 Feelings, eaten. Words, written. Thoughts, ignored. = New Mantra?.... naaaha

Sarah

January 17th, 2011

Last night, 550 words found themselves in a word document.
Today, not a single one, due to complications with family.
I would write, but I am currently engulfed with so much anger, that I'm fighting to keep it in.
Shite.

Sarah

January 16th, 2011

24 ounces of V8 V-fusion Light Peach Mango Juice, Check.
Writing Mix on grooveshark, Check.
Scratch Pad, Check.

Let the writing Commence.

Sarah

January 15th, 2011

What have I realized? Every prompt I've thought up has been a dystopian sort of black hole. Sure, there is nothing wrong with that and it's a nice change from "hooray! happily ever after," but it's still hard to not over-exaggerate. There is a fine line between how much the world sucks and how harsh a place it can be, and a terrible teen-angst driven exaggeration.
It would probably help if I wasn't in the terrible mindset that I currently inhabit. I've been taking most everything personally, as I'm paranoid and walking on eggshells around most people. You add the assumption that everyone is irritated by me and/or something I've done or said, and it's a terrible land of headcase-y spazz-ness... and made up words.
I've also found that I am almost never in the environment that allows me to spew words like I have been in the past. Tis a shame, but I'll live. I must, life goes on.

Sarah

Also, to kill time I was wandering around blogconfession and had the misfortune of letting stupid posts bring me down. I suggest not doing the same. Especially # 6859.

January 12th, 2011

I finished the monologue I was commissioned to write, and it feels good to have completed something.
A few moments ago, I had a realization. If I've a cookie cutter sort of idea for a story/novella/piece, nothing bad will happen if I write it. Maybe it will turn into something fun, or maybe I'll end up learning more about writing. It is practice, which is what I need. Plus, one less thing in the way to any really fantastic ideas I may have in the future.

Sarah

January 8th, 2011

I've finished writing what I owe.

Fixation.
T'isn't healthy.
It's destructive as hell,
so let's distract ourself by focusing on it.
Not this half hearted shite,
but completely and obsessively.
Until there is nothing left to focus on.

January 3rd, 2011

The year has begun. I've been hired to write someone a script on fiverr.com, which I am working on now. I've pushed out a bit of poetry, and keep re-writing and crossing out the prose I've scratched upon my paper. It's not my day. Trust me.

Sarah

Conflict

The conflicting emotions 

   will eventually push you

     Over the Edge,

        Past the breaking Point.

Tell them,

    Don't tell them,

       They will understand.

           No, they won't.

You want the pain & confusion, 

    it's just hard to admit.

       At the same time you fight it,

           trying to expel it from your mind.

Not that it ever works.

   You're messed up,

        And not about to quit.