Journal Excerpt

I admit it, I am a terrible influence.
My poisoned thoughts invade those inhabiting the minds of others.
They change with the wind,
but there is never a decrease in their potency,
never a decrease in how loathsome they are toward myself and others.
No one is safe from the cerebral run-off,
more toxic than an oil spill or nuclear waste.
The most kind-hearted can't escape unscathed,
even monsoons of melancholy cannot aid in ending the drought.
My heart is as dry and brittle as ever,
and I fear such shall never change.

April 18th, 2011

Busy weekends leave me drained, no matter how fantastic they are. They also make you feel shit after, because you're alone and dull again, with the same chant stuck in your head.

Sarey, Sarey, Quite contrary, Always feels alone,
She wants to cry, and I can't lie, sometimes wants to leave home.

I'm hoping if I sleep for a week, maybe I can write something "better".

Sarah.

January 18th, 2011

Today I planned, plotting ideas and writing them down in my little paper companion.
I'm much less angry, though not really. I've just done a hell of a job repressing it. It will bite me in the arse later.
I wrote today as well, around 400-500 words. I want to write every day, so I'll take it.
Now, I'm going to have a secret love affair with a rainbow coloured lollypop larger than my face, and go to bed.
 Feelings, eaten. Words, written. Thoughts, ignored. = New Mantra?.... naaaha

Sarah

January 8th, 2011

I've finished writing what I owe.

Fixation.
T'isn't healthy.
It's destructive as hell,
so let's distract ourself by focusing on it.
Not this half hearted shite,
but completely and obsessively.
Until there is nothing left to focus on.

January 3rd, 2011

The year has begun. I've been hired to write someone a script on fiverr.com, which I am working on now. I've pushed out a bit of poetry, and keep re-writing and crossing out the prose I've scratched upon my paper. It's not my day. Trust me.

Sarah

Conflict

The conflicting emotions 

   will eventually push you

     Over the Edge,

        Past the breaking Point.

Tell them,

    Don't tell them,

       They will understand.

           No, they won't.

You want the pain & confusion, 

    it's just hard to admit.

       At the same time you fight it,

           trying to expel it from your mind.

Not that it ever works.

   You're messed up,

        And not about to quit.

December 18th, 2010

I haven't been writing, the apathy, drama, and stress have paired with a perpetual head ache. But, that's sort of in my favor. Sure, I feel terrible most of the time, but current happenings have given me more to think about, more material to write about. Plus, I've been putting pieces of story together, that I never would have without this period of feeling like crap. So, I'll take it.

Write Long & Edit,
Sarah

December 8th, 2010

I think I've a new idea? I'm not quite sure, for all I seem to do is sleep and read. Oops.

Sarah