February 24th, 2011

I didn't write today. I started something yesterday, but if it will actually go anywhere is doubtful. Instead I felt ill, of course on a day off, and slept. And, after my mum (jokingly) suggested I look into Harvard, I found myself looking into a local university. I've just about missed deadlines for the fall 2011 semester, but the Spring 2012 semester is promising. So, I've emailed the school. Now, I just have fear-of-no-future-idis. Oops.

Never have I felt so ill while doing so little.One incorrect answer can ruin it all,One mark too low and the letter is full of rejection.The nausea sets in before the page loads,each form weighs a thousand pounds,every second is closer than the previous to failure.The underachieving and minimal effort are catching up to me,all I can do now is work hard and hope, no,pray, that I can get in.At this point, I'll take most any school that will have me.

Yeah. Freaking over college, it's an incredibly crappy way to spend your February break.

Sarah

October 18th, 2010

What have we learned? I'm not good at thinking people can change. Romans ripped off most of their stuff from other cultures. I am quite transparent.

Anyway, I've jotted down a few lines of "poetry," if you can even call them that. And the random paragraph mentioned a while ago is now 450 words. If I can break 500 in the next 5-10 minutes, it may mean I've an idea worth working on. Or, at least, one that I can go with for a while. I'd really like to get some writing out of my system, and some of my more obscure ideas down, before NaNoWriMo, and I get to focus on one plot line at a time.

So, before I go, I'll let you read some random lines that I wrote down today. I think I intended it to be a bit of cathartic poetry, getting some things out. But, I also think I was writing down lines to go with other lines at a later date. So, they don't go together. I don't know. It at least shows how jumbled my head is right now.

I'm not bitter, I'm a realist.

I don't expect change, because I know it won't happen.

You are the car crash that I witnessed; that crash is why I won't drive.

There is no reason for such hostility.

Pettiness gets old rather quickly.

Paranoia doesn't go away, especially when there is no trust.

Your empty words are quite stale.

Sarah